英语 笑话？1．we two who and who？咱俩谁跟谁阿 2.how are you ? how old are you?怎么是你，怎么老是你？03．you don`t bird me,I don`t bird you 你不鸟我，我也不鸟你 04．you have seed I will give you some color to see see, brothers ！那么，英语 笑话？一起来了解一下吧。
A：“现在，都说要减负，可作业怎么越来越多呀！哎！”
B：“那还不简单。减和负都是表示负的意思，那不就是负负的正吗？正了作业不就变多了吗？”
A：“Oh my god！O__O"…”
英语冷笑话谐音梗如下：
1、What do you call a deer with no eye?
(没有眼睛的鹿 是什么鹿)
No eye deer (No idea).
无眼鹿（不知道）
2、What did a late tomato say to other tomatoes?
(一个迟到的番茄会对其他的番茄说什么)
I will ketchup (catch up).
(我能赶上)(ketchup 番茄酱)
3、What do you call a bee from America?
(来自美国的蜜蜂叫什么)
A USB (US bee).
4、Which is faster, hot or cold?
(冷和热，哪个更快)
Hot. Because you can catch a cold.
(热更快，因为你能追上冷/会感冒 catch a cold）
5、What did my dog say when I asked him the answer for two minus two?
(当我问我家的狗2减2等于多少，他说了什么)
He said nothing.
(他什么也没说 / 他说什么也没有)
笑话第一篇（这篇若外国人看了一定会笑） Adam and Joseph were talking about their families. Adam said,"My grandfather was a very good conductor before he died" "Was he a musician?" joseph asked. "No,"said Adam,"he was struck by lightning." 亚当和约瑟正在谈及他们的家人。 亚当说：「我祖父在他死前是一个很好的conductor(conductor可作指挥，或导电体解） 约瑟问：「他是不是一个音乐家？」 亚当说：「不是，他是被雷电击中」 第二个笑话 The Bishop spoke to the congregation about the shortage of priests and nuns. "Too many of you are only having one child and letting them go off into other professions. I propose that each family should have three children: one for the father, one for mother and one for the church." A few days later, the bishop was out shopping when he saw a pregnant woman from his parish. But before he could say hello, she shouted above the crowd,"This one is yours, Bishop!" 有一个主教对他的会众说及，神父和修女的短缺。
超简短的英语笑话段子
超简短的英语笑话段子：What has a head, a tail, and no body?A coin!
超简短的英语笑话段子(一)
顾客：小心，你的大拇指在我汤里了!
服务员：别担心，先生，不是很烫!
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup!
Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
一个服务员给顾客拿来了牛排，大拇指在牛肉上。
“你疯了吗?”顾客喊到，“你的手在我的牛排上!”
“什么?”服务员说，“你想让它再掉地上?”
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
服务员：茶或咖啡?先生。
第一个顾客：我要茶
第二个顾客：我也是茶——杯子要干净的!
服务员：两杯茶，哪个要干净的杯子?
Waiter: "Tea or coffee, gentlemen?"
1st customer: "I'll have tea."
2nd customer: "Me, too - and be sure the glass is clean!"
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: "Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?"
服务员，这只苍蝇在我汤里干什么?
看起来象是在仰泳，先生……
Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...
服务员，汤里有只苍蝇!
别担心，先生，面包里的蜘蛛会干掉它。
冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网路、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。冷笑话不同于一般的笑话，以其独特的制笑机制，能瞬间制造出一种特殊氛围。我精心收集了，供大家欣赏学习!
：Farmer's Bull
Farmer: I've got a bull that's right off it duties. It's got to service 300 cows and all it wants to do is eat.
Vet: Give it one of these little pills in its feed and stand back.
So 2 weeks later the farmer es back to the vet:
Farmer: WOW, what a pill! I gave the pill to the bull like you said and POW! It jumped over the gate, ran down the lane and *** ed 70 cows in 30 minutes.
Vet: So, what's the problem - why have you e back?
Farmer: Well, I was wondering, I am meeting this 18-year-old tonight - could you give me one of those tablets? I'm not as young as I was.
Vet: Oh, no! Sorry, it's too strong but I will give you a quarter of a pill.
So the farmer takes the pill and goes off to prepare for his date. Several days later, the farmer goes back to the Vet.
Farmer: Hello, Vet. Wonderful. 40 Times.
Vet: So, why have you e back? Farmer: Ah! I need something for my wrist - she never showed up!
：Farmer's Daughter
There was a men who is lost in a forest during a storm. He came to a house and knocked on the door. A farmer came out and asked, "what the hell do you want?"
The man asked, "Could I spend a night here?"
"Sure, but you can't touch my daughter."
So the man was sleeping that night, when the daughter came in. And that night, they did it. The next night, they did it, too. The next night, they did it, again.
Until one night, the daughter said to the man, "I am tired of doing it in your room."
So the man went to the daughter's room and did it. The next night, they did it The next night, they did it, too The next night, they did it again.
They have done it in every single room in the house EXECPT the father's room.
So one night they decided to go to the father's room and do it. When they went in, the father has fallen deep into sleep.
The man asked, "what the hell is that hairy thing in his bed?"
The daughter said, "it's his hairy ass"
So the man and the daughter were doing it in his room for 2 weeks and they loved it.
But unfortunatly, one day, the father came to the man and go, "we need to talk."
"What, I didn't have sex with your daughter!"
"I will tell you the truth, I don't care if you have sex with my daughter anymore, just don't use my hairy ass as a score board!"
：Rooster
An old farmer decided it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years. And the farmer figured getting a new rooster couldn't hurt anything. So he buys a young cock from the local rooster emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard.
Well, the old rooster sees the young one strutting around and he gets a little worried. 'So, they're trying to replace me, thinks the old rooster. I've got to do something about this.' He walks up to the new bird and says, "So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff, don't you? Well, I'm not ready for the chopping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and whoever finish's first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definitely thought he was more than a match for the old guy. "You're on," said the young rooster. "And since I know I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy," said the young rooster.
So the two roosters go over to the hen house to start the race with all the hens gatheringaround to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the roosters on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead. After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young rooster.
By now the farmer has heard all the motion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun, and runs out to the barnyard figuring a fox or something is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters running around the hen house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead. He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.
As he walks away slowly, he says to himself . . . "Damn, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."
：Pigs
A farmer was worried that none of his pigs were getting pregnant. He called a vet and asked what he should do if he wanted more pigs. The vet told him he should try artificial insemination. The farmer, not wanting to appear stupid, answered okay and hung up the phone. Unclear on what the vet meant by artificial insemination, the farmer decidedit must mean he had to impregnate the pigs himself, so he loaded all the pigs in his pickup and drove down to the woods and shagged them all.
The next day he called the vet again, and asked how would he know if the pigs were pregnant. The vet told him they would be lying down rolling in the mud, but when he looked out the window not even one was lying down. So, he loaded them up in his pickup again and drove them to the woods and shagged them all again. To his di *** ay they were all standing the next morning. So, again he loads the pigs in his truck drives them to the woods and shags them for the third time.
By the next morning the farmer is beat, so he asks his wife to hop out of bed and look out the window to see what the pigs are doing. She says "hmmm - that's weird, they are all in the truck and one of them is blowing the horn".
以上就是英语 笑话的全部内容，笑话第一篇(这篇若外国人看了一定会笑) Adam and Joseph were talking about their families. Adam said,"My grandfather was a very good conductor before he died" "Was he a musician?" joseph asked. "No,"said Adam,"he was struck by lightning." 亚当和约瑟正在谈及他们的家人。内容来源于互联网，信息真伪需自行辨别。如有侵权请联系删除。
